I seriously hate myself man.

Dunno what's the f problem with me. Just one simple task and I failed miserably.

I am totally not fit to lead my peers and my juniors AT ALL.

I should not have taken up the post of 3/5 Chairman, when I have promised myself earlier that I will only be and always be 2/4 0'8 chairperson.

I should not have taken up the post of Company Leader when I have promised myself not to take it up ever since I was in Guides.

Instead, I should have let others more suited for these jobs to take up these posts, while I can be left in a corner unwatched and unseen.

I feel that I really led down the class today, those who want to play, but are afraid to voice out. Did I really try my best to help them? Or did I just abandon them?

Same as Guides. Did I really put in my best effort to bring the sec3s together as one??? As in, really SEC3S, not only majority of them??? Or did I just shrug it off because I am afraid that I would be an 'outcast' too?

What is happening to me??? To protect and help my friends, isn't that what I strongly believe in? To be a good a role model and help fight for my peers' rights, isn't that what I am supposed to do?

Yet I seemed to fail to uphold these beliefs every single day.

I really am a failure..... to have led down all the people who have put their trust and faith in me......I am seriously a loser man. 10:33:00 pm